maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
