What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
