It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
