Porn is love you can see.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
