Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I FOUND THE LEGS
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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