What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
