Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
