so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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