i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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