too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
