help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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