In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
you had me at cake vodka
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
