I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
