I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
