If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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