her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
