I wannas sexs uuuuu
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
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