So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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