sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
