It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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