dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
