She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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