We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
