this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
