I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
