do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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