why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
