So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
