i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
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