walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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