How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
