I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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