I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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