Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
