hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
