Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
