Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
