All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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