I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
