Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
