The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
