Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Randomize
