She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
