Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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