I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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