i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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