Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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