I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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