I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I love you. Go after that dick
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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