I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
