I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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