Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Randomize
