Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
