We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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